Talk to any serious dieter and you may walk away with the impression that the world is a minefield of bubbling macaroni and cheese casseroles, fresh homemade pound cakes and unlimited peanut butter cups ready to pounce at the slightest suggestion of weakness. I have heard many lament that their best friends, spouses, and co-workers have become part of a vast conspiracy to bring on the demise of the diet.
It's easy to look for someone else to blame when we abandon our efforts to make healthy lifestyle changes. After all, when it is my co-worker's birthday, it might hurt her feelings if I don't share the special birthday cake. And what would my mother-in-law think if I refuse her famous pasta Alf redo that she made especially for me? Surely I can't give up my Friday night pizza and beer ritual with my best buddies! Plus, letting all that good Valentine's candy go to waste would be a horrible shame.
For most of my life, I planned to lose weight--starting tomorrow, of course--and something would always sabotage my best efforts. I was well into my forties when I realized that that something was me. "Self sabotage," Alyce Cornyn-Selby quips, "is when we say we want something and then go about making sure it doesn't happen."
When I decided I wanted to lose weight more than I wanted the instant gratification of food, I stopped being a victim of sabotage. For me, that change was brought on by the fear that I would be next in line in my family for a serious heart attack.
To my surprise, the events, people, and foods that I had perceived as sources of sabotage in the past no longer held power over me. I found ways to take control of my own experience by bringing healthy food to parties or ordering a salad instead of a pizza or inviting a friend to go for a walk or a bike ride instead of out to dinner. (Who knew that there were ways to have fun that did not involve eating?!)
When I stopped sabotaging myself, I started seeing many forms of support that I had ignored in the past: co-workers who wanted to lose a few pounds and started eating better too, friends who included healthful foods at dinner parties because of me, the trainer who went the extra mile to make my sessions possible, exercise buddies who showed up week after week, clients who encouraged my efforts, and an online support system called sparkpeople.com.
I wish I could say the tendency toward self sabotage disappears completely. But every now and then, I still want to blow off my exercise. And I can't imagine that carrots will ever be as tantalizing as chocolate. But my workout buddies are waiting at the gym, my sister is calling to remind me to get moving, and I've invested way too much in my health (and happiness) to sabotage myself now.
next: Back On Track
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I am a new member @ Sparkpeople and I am learning a lot about myself and others. your story has enpowered me that I too can do it. Thnak you for sharing your sucess as well as your struggle. Seeing your before and after picture is powerful. I need to lose a 80 to 100 lbs & before your blog I was very doughful. In the past if the weight did not disappear in 2 weeks I was onto another diet. I only began this Sunday weighing 241 lbs and I am going to learn how to change my eating behavior and live again. Thank You
Posted by super 08 | February 28, 2008 7:54 PM