My son has always been an individual, an old soul,he loves steam engines, and 40's attire. He is polite and a gentleman. He was interested in lights and sounds and behind the scenes of the theater. He stood by himself and the kids and administrators through middle school respected his beliefs. They were a strong support for him, they never discouraged him. He got questioned at times for the way he slicked back his hair or why he wore 40's suits and fedoras. I thought he was cute and smart to be himself. Upon entering high school, his principal and vice principal called my home and wanted a meeting with my son and I. We were told he couldn't continue to dress this way for fear he would be bullied. They said they bullied kids themselves in school considering they were football players and its just the way it is. They didn't want this to happen to my son, so they suggest he try to blend in and dress as everyone else. My son got so nervous over this strange meeting, he became ill. He started to develp stomach issues, and was out of school for 5 days. He didn't even own slouchy jeans and a big tee shirt. Upon arrival back at school, they called another meeting with us...because of his 5 day absence and his continuance to dress nicely... (so early in the school year,) he was gong to have to be banned from going to the first school dance coming up that Friday and the first Football game that weekend.He was mortified, so was I, there was nothing I could say to change the principals mind. I felt so bad for my son, and his stomach hurt even more. That eve. we got a phone call from the principal saying, after discussion, my son would be allowed to attend the football game, but not the dance. He needed to be punished in some way considering he had too many days out of school (and yes, he had a doctors note)5 days !!!! I couldn't believe this was happening to him. He tried to join the lights and sounds as he did throughout Middle School, and was rejected. He felt even sicker. The Middle school admins had called our home asking for my son to come in and help teach their new students the art of lights and sounds because he was such a natural in this field. Upon arrival at the Middle school, he was told they had to turn him away, they had recieved a call from the High School princial who said because of his absences from school, their jobs would be in jepordy if they allowed my son to help in their schools. How could one man have so much power? My son developed Irrital Bowal Disease, he couldn't eat without stomach issues, his nerves were going haywire. He didn't even want to get dressed up anynmore, he didn't do his hair, he lost all he believed in and now he couldn't even go to school because of how sick he had become. He missed all four years of high school due to depression and IBD, and now feels lost. I think he relates lights and sounds and theater to a bad situation, he doesn't even want to think of going in that direction anymore. He went from honor role student his whole life to nearly being retained in his 12th year since he was forced to go on homebound instruction. Although he is intellegent and has common sense, and gets complimented outside of school by many adults and business owners...he doesn't have that sparkle in his eyes anymore. He agreed to therapy, but finding a good one close enough to home who accepts ins. was trying, he is sick of hearing "do you know how many kids have it worst than you?" (These "doctors" shouldn't even have a license to practice psychology) With that said, he seems to be feeling better about himself lately, he taught hinself a lot while being homebound, business owners and neighbors enjoy talking to him. He had been offered a job without even inquiring last week...so I believe his confidence will go back up and he will find his way. Thanks for letting me vent here. A Mom's broken heart over her children's well being, and the feeling of being defenseless against the school system is going away as well. I have 2 more young children who have to get through this high school and I hope that the principal (yes, he is still there) doesn't bully them too.

this is a very good talk...personally, i've been bullied my whole life and to be totally truthful, it has made me a very strong woman. i don't care what people say or think. for the most part people don't talk to me and i don't fit in because i don't try to fit in. i have my own interests not what is the in thing. i have my own opinions. in many ways i live in my own community, and i am the only member. i have my dignity and my honour. no one can take this from me. as far as listening to gossip...i listen to the birds, the wind, to music,and anything my daughter has to say...i have peace and that is what matters to me. as far as those who bully me..they are weak and insecure. i am strong. i know who i am. i love Madonna...i wish her well. if i could go to her concert i would go but i think i will buy her knew cd and be content with that...it's important for those who feel threatened to have some one to look up to...this is very important, to share as Madonna is sharing and the way Ellen shares. this is very very good.

They say tell the teacher,is the teacher gonna go homw with me,go 2 the park,or have my back when I finally see them or the bully situation. Bullying isn't gona stop unless parents in all areas take more resp, for the info the goes thru the childs brain from outside sources, TV, MOVIES,CARTONS,FAMILY. We have to b an example to our children, but the best way to deal with a REAL bully is to always watch your back,and 1 day get the courage to ball up your fists and fight if u have to..But then u have to worry bout getting in trouble, well take it, cuz if you a punk now you'll always be a punk, until u show them different.. Always respect, so when you go off it's a suprise. I was bullied in shcool.

if you haven't seen the appearance of the you man that was bullied on the view feb.3 you have to see how brave he is. beaten and kicked ,hung in a tree then hung from a metal fence!!!!i am so tired of hearring that this is sooo wrong, yet i don't see enough being done, our teachers don't have the skills to deal with!!!! they have families and classes that are too full.we need professionals set up inside the schools to work with all the students individuality, the bullies first and foremost, then the passive bystanders ,followed by repairring the children that have been broke through years of this torture!!!! my 11 year old grandson has gone through hell and i am at my wits end, i want to go to school with him to protect him every minute he is at school. of course that is imppossible!!!! he has been harassed daily and this has taken a great toll on his life. i am so afraid that it will not stop and how can a child ever get over the pain!!!! i do blame the parents for not teaching their children to respect others and the fringe of the bullies are pulled into this by the bullies that have the power,some of them are just happy to not get bullied. this has to stop now before we loose anymore of our beautiful kids!!!! from a loving concerned grammy

I firmly believe that bullying originates with the PARENTS. Part of the program against bullying should be an effort to educate PARENTS that whatever children see and hear modeled behind the closed doors of their home is directly translated into how they will behave in school and in other public places. Example: I never heard the "N word" at home; therefore, I never used it in public. Today, many children learn the "F word" at home and then use it freely in public. I have even seen parents LAUGHING when their 2-year-old uses such words in public, thus adding even MORE parental approval to such bad behaviors. If a child silently observes their parents making denigrating remarks at home--about other people, even about characters they see on TV--that child will automatically appropriate those attitudes and those words to use out in the world. I don't think parents say directly to their child, "You must talk like this and feel like this toward other people;" but the message is learned, nevertheless. Think about he old song, "You have to be carefully taught...to hate all the people your relatives hate...."

Ellen, thank you for all you do to end bullying. Have you considered convincing your advertisers to do PSA's on TV, on billboards, in magazines and on radio about this subject? I don't have any money to contribute, but if I can help in any way, please let e know.

(By the way, my only daughter is named Ellen and she too does so much to help other people, quietly and without public recognition. I LOVE my two Ellens!!)

Madonna was so rite,I so love the fact that she is also speaking out on Bullying.
Thank you Madonna and always to you Ellen for spreading the word,The world would be a much nicer place to live in,if the Bullying would stop.But first we half to honestly change the way some parents teach their children that it is ok to be that way.It is so sad how many adults encourage this kind of behaviour in their children.I personaly have seen people like this! And I personaly have took it apond myself to tell their children that when you find things in someone else to hate or pick on them about,your only hiding the parts of your self that you hate.That they think it is easier to hate on someone else instead of focasing on the real issues about themselves that they dislike.
The whole world needs to start looking in the mirror and start focasing on our selves and stop focasing on others to pick on.
Love and Peace,what we all need.
Just my opinion.....The color of ones skin or the language that one speaks,the wealth they have or don't have,or the person that one is attracted to does not matter in life,what matters is if we can love our selves when we realy look insde of who we are as a person..That is what realy matters in life! Love is the light to a brighter future and better tomorrow so share what God gave us all,the ability to love...
Lueann