Summer's Comin'

Happy Memorial Day, everybody! No work. No school. No bra! It’s the unofficial beginning of SUMMER!!! Can you believe it? When I was a kid, summer seemed like it lasted a lifetime. A million things happened over one summer. Then you get older and time goes by so fast. You get one leg into your thong bikini and suddenly it’s Labor Day. This summer I’m gonna make a list of all the things I want to do. I think it’s good to make lists and set goals. Plus, now that I’m over 50, I’m having trouble remembering things. Here’s my list for summer:

#1) I’m gonna write up more lists. It really helps you set goals. Plus, it keeps your penmanship in shipshape.

#2) I’m gonna remember to tan the sides of my body. Sure, you lie on your back and tan your front, then you turn over and tan your back. But I’m not gonna neglect my sides anymore. Like I always say, “Love your whole body -- Love yourself.”

#3) This summer, I’m gonna do something I’ve always wanted to do. I’m gonna bite the bullet and get myself an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. I’ve wanted one since I was a little girl -– and this year –- it’s mine!

#4) I’m gonna build myself a screened-in porch -– in the south -– I don’t have a house there, but at least I’ll have a porch. I want to drink mint juleps and that’s the only way to do it.

#5) Two words: Boogie Board! Although that’s often followed by two other words: Emergency Room.

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Ellen! This Summer? I'm going to the KC area to attend my 45th Shawnee Mission East high school reunion in Prairie Village, KS, July 16, 17...I expect it will be a blast...you should come!

Our friends who had a high school band are actually going to "re-form" for this event and play for us...all oldies from the '60s. Gayle Sanders, who invented Martin and Logan speakers, is getting it all together... and another alum, Steve Barncard, record producer as in Grateful Dead will be back in town from SF for this event also...see what happens when you do what you love?

Best to you!

Posted by Dianne | June 16, 2010 3:09 PM

Sooooooo ????? Where's he pic of you in the Yellow Polka dot Bikini :)

Posted by Lucy | July 20, 2009 2:13 PM

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Posted by xhvespunk wkgchflep | November 9, 2008 10:31 PM

Posted by xhvespunk wkgchflep | November 9, 2008 10:30 PM

Never make a list...!!Then if everything goes wrong you can't say.."Nothing went like i had planed..!" Believe me i would never had written on my list "-spent the two of the four days on that beautiful island,with the local police"..!!

Posted by vicky Greece | August 3, 2008 7:42 PM

Back before spray tans, I'd lay out MORE on my sides with legs and arms akimbo so that my sides would be tanner. I always wear a stronger spf on the front of my face than on the sides. Why? Because I'm currently fat and it really does work to make me look slimmer. It doesn't work as well as my bicycle and Dr. Oz, but with or without the bike and the wonderful doctor, being more tan on the sides makes you look noticably slimmer.

Posted by Lollie | July 28, 2008 7:09 AM

you forgot #6 Hire Katie as my massage therapist

Posted by katie | May 28, 2008 11:14 AM

Hi Ellen!
I watch you all the time. I'm 19 and I just finished my first year of college. I really wanted to come to your show but you are always sold out. I know you must hear that alot, but I'm different. Really, I am. Because I love you more and I think your hillarious. I wonder what age I will get to before I write notes like this one and I dont tell my age. I think I'm getting a little old for that now. I went to the dentist office the other day and they asked me how old I was and how school was. At what age can you go to the dentist office and not be asked how old you are? Anyways, I love you girl and I really want to see you!

Posted by Kelly Meska | May 27, 2008 11:31 AM

Ellen,

LOVE YOUR SHOW!!! Congratulations on your up coming marriage, may you both have health, happiness and many wonderful years together!!!

Posted by Jaime | May 27, 2008 1:37 AM

Hiya there Ellen! Happy Memorial Summer Day! :) You forgot something on your list!

For Ellen:
#6) Remember to post a VLOG once in a while! ;)

We will certainly miss you! Aw, I know it's just a few weeks. Oh well, enjoy your summer break & best wishes again! :)

P.S. Wait for my snail mail. :) I have something to show you :). I'll send it to the studio and probably address it to someone else coz you probably get so much mails, you may never open all of them! lol... take care

Posted by (no longer) boredonweekends | May 26, 2008 10:49 PM

ELLEN DOWN UNDER

its time

pretty please & hold the cherries

ta from denise

Posted by denise tyler | May 26, 2008 9:52 PM

Girls, please do not listen to that strange doctor who thinks that cellulite is a problem. It is more a problem to read all these boring things.

Written by a man, no wonder. Men really know everything about the problems of women. hihihihihihih

Posted by Berliner Mädel | May 26, 2008 2:56 PM

The approach of “cellulite viewing season” tends to precipitate fear in women when it comes to going to the beach. Women are now starting to look at their legs, buy swim suits, make vacation and travel plans, change diets and initiate exercise programs with the goal of getting their legs in shape for the viewing season.

One of my new patients who started a Mesotherapy treatment program for cellulite gave me the following tips on how to survive at the beach with cellulite. This patient had a good sense of humor and was quite willing to share her humorous beach survival adventures.

Once you get to the beach it is important to scope out you your surroundings. She notes she carefully avoids being close to skinny women and overweight women. Once she finds the right spot, she plants her umbrella less than 50 feet from the waters edge. This is an important step as you will later see. Once this important step is completed, set your bags down and lay out the beach towel.

Now the big moment, lie down and wiggle out of your skirt or pants. My patient recommends wearing something short and loose over your swimsuit to avoid excessive wiggling as it can cause your thighs to jiggle. You can tell she is very experienced.

Once you are all comfortable and its time to hit the water, you will appreciate the 50 feet recommendation. As per my patient, the big advantage of tanning lotion is that is makes sand stick to your skin. Who would have thought of this? So prior to going into the water, gently roll into the sand and get some sand on your legs to camouflage the cellulite. When walking to the water, walk slowly with a girlfriend and engage yourselves in conversation. These short thoughtful steps will prevent the appearance of functional cellulite.

The next big step after enjoying some time in the surf is how to get back to your towel.
It’s very simple, my patient recommends sitting at the waters edge while chatting and playing. Here once again the goal is to get sand on your thighs, thus making the walk back to the towel pleasant and enjoyable.

According to my patient’s observations, women with great bodies sit furthest away from the waters edge than those who do not. She as a trained observer and made these observations over the last 10 years and was quite willing to share her experience with others.

Dr. Lionel Bissoon
www.cellulite.md

Posted by Dr. Lionel Bissoon | May 26, 2008 2:38 PM

Ohhhhhhhhhhh yes!

Posted by Berliner Mädel | May 26, 2008 2:16 PM

I have also a list for the summer.

1}To meet that wonderful woman met dat lekkere kontje
2}Watch to a wonderful woman who swims in a lake and I painting her with fingerpaint
3}Be lucky from every second that she is with me she is so true, sweet,amazing
4}We can do it,together we are strong

Posted by gerrie van rooij | May 26, 2008 2:12 PM

Here comes my list for the summer:

1) To meet that wonderful woman, she knows that I mean her
2) Swimming in a lake where painters are busy
3) Enjoying the time I have with her

Posted by Berliner Mädel | May 26, 2008 12:52 PM

Hey,Ellen just love what you said about the things to do this summer. I too, am past 50 but, love having fun. We are in the south near Pensacola Beach. And when I was young around the age of 18's old I did have an Itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini, had me asurf board to but, a boogieboard would be just as much fun. And where we live we do have a back porch over looking our garden we grow every summer and at the end of the day we sat on our screened in porch an have a beer, or bloodyMary,and yes even a mint julep with my daughter and my husband. Thats for letting me enjoy you summer list love you!

Posted by Barbara Moravek | May 26, 2008 12:34 PM

Ellen,
Some 'nobody' should present themself to the audience dancing as you always do, and then you could confront that person, and said person might say, that they have been kicked off other shows too, but none as good as yours.

Posted by goodEYE'd vised | May 26, 2008 12:02 PM

HELLO IT'S ME JUBY -DU;
I WONDER WHAT YOU ARE UP TO ON MEMORIAL DAY. WELL RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE THIS I AM DRINKING A GIN AND TONIC,MY FEET IN THE AIR,AND JUST A THIN T SHIRT AND COMMANDO. MY WEEKEND HERE IN SUNSET BAY AREA ,BOATS,SKI'S YOU NAME WE GOT IT HERE. SOME TIMES YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SPENT LOTS OM MONEY FOR A BEACH HOUSE .JUST COME OUT HERE WE HAVE LOTS OF NICE SPOT'S.JUST ASK KEVIN ,ASFAR FOR LIST'S YOU DON'T NEED THEM ,BE FANCY FREE.

ALWAY'S YOUR JUBY-DU RATAJCZAK
BUFFALO.N.Y.

Posted by JUDY RATAJCZAK | May 26, 2008 12:01 PM

and here is #6 on your to do list for summer... Drive up to WINnipeg, Manitoba, Canada... when you get close call and I'll get the spare room ready for yah! You ought to have my numbers by now!

Waiting In WINnipeg
Bev Levine

Posted by Anonymous | May 26, 2008 11:49 AM