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Ellen's Thoughts | Friday, May 30, 2008 | 11:00 AM

Shorts: The New Pants

This is a great time of year, isn’t it? The sun is shining, the birds are singing and you can smell summer just around the corner... it’s either summer or Aunt Bee is cooling a rhubarb pie on the windowsill. “Andyyyy?” It’s not summer yet... and I have a confession to make; I’ve been wearing my shorts. I know you’re saying, “Ellen, it’s only May! Are you Loco?” And to that Isay, “Un poquito.”

I love shorts. I find that shorts are the most underrated article of clothing. They’re cool and breezy. Most shorts have pockets, so there’s always a place to put your hands. And when you’re wearing shorts, you’re really saying, “I feel casual AND confident... I’d like to introduce you to my legs.” I actually like to wear longer shorts. Shorts are so long now, they’re pants. And that’s fine with me, but they need to be baggy. If they’re tight, then they’re Capri pants, the cousin of the short. I say the baggier the better, because if you’re like me, your weight fluctuates and you have clothes ranging from size 8 to 12. These can go right in the middle. When you’re a size 8, they sit a little lower. When you’re a size 12, they’re a little higher. Either way, you’re good to go.

There are so many types of shorts. There’re culottes, gauchos, Bermuda shorts… those come with a camera you can hang around your neck and a fanny pack. I have one tip for you if you’re putting on shorts for the first time in a long time: moisturize! We neglect our legs all winter long, and if you put shorts on before you moisturize, it looks like you’re standing on two, long HoneyBaked Hams. And Easter’s over.

next: A Comic Called Wanda

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Hi Ellen,

Love the show, and your website is great too! You are hilarious;)

Roxy

Posted by Roxy | October 23, 2008 9:13 AM

just wanted say love your show and congrads on getting married

Posted by helen | October 2, 2008 1:18 PM

mdbqpt yotdlawb vebnrptuz isyu dnuc ebxy frqjuz

Posted by tecblwdp ovgzsut | October 2, 2008 7:15 AM

Regarding kinds of shorts...

there is another kind that I own..it is shorter for pants...longer for capri...so shall we call that 'pantri'? Just wondering...

Posted by Bharathi | September 17, 2008 1:15 PM

What happened to Ellen's thoughts?? I want them back!!

Posted by Sandra | September 16, 2008 6:45 AM

Dear Ellen,

I absolutely love your show and recently discovered your postings - ellen's thoughts. this has inspired me to write my own blog...i find that i have a similar style of conversing and writing - sarcastic humour...thankyou so much! you are absolutely hilarious! keep it up!

cheers
Aparna

Posted by Aparna | September 11, 2008 6:09 PM

Dear Ellen:
I watch your show just about every day. I was watching you show today about how people need to laugh more and have little sense of humor. I SO agree with you. I recently fell on hard times, due to no fault of my own. I look forward to 4:00 every day when your show comes on. You lighten up my day and make me laugh. You always try to help people and bring out the best in them. It is very refreshing. It has been a big help. Thank you for going the extra mile and keep up the good work!!

Posted by vonda | August 28, 2008 2:25 PM

Not sure where to post this, but CNN has reported that Ellen and Portia got married last night.....

Congratulations - you both deserve it. Have a great honeymoon - whereever you plan to go.

Love ya!

Clare and Rhonda

Posted by Clare Gallagher | August 17, 2008 8:24 AM

I dont know what else to do. I need someone to help me. I have been sick for 13 years and nobody knows how to help. I have tryed so many things and nothing has helped. I am off ballace all the time or I would also say lightheaded. I have 2 small kids and a GREAT husband but I cant enjoy them or do things with them because of this problem. If you can help me in any way or if you have any ideas I would be so greatful you have know ideawhat this is like but I can tell you it is so hard when I cant even read a story to my children. Please help me.If you can tell me anything please email me back. I hope to here from you. Thank you so much for reading this. Joanne

Posted by joanne | August 15, 2008 12:34 PM

No, you and everyone else will not want to see this person in shorts...I don't want to see myself in shorts! I don't want to even think of shorts being any where near my closet or drawers as my other clothes might catch their ugly coodies (Sp? I can't spell) and make my other clothes look totally ridiculous on me.

Other people look great in them, like my daughter and son, husband and anyone/everyone else..but, I am about 30 years past the point of even wearing capris! I do like the gaucho shorts..and I think everyone else would be greatful if I wore those instead. Remember, we don't want to frighten the little children.

This is why I miss Hawaii..I use to wear Palero's all the time with my flip flops and a bathing suit underneath, or a t if wearing as a skirt. I just had different colors and materials and I was set for anywhere, anytime. I am thinking I want to make up a few. Though they don't go so well in this weather!

But, no shorts..no way, no how for this gal!


Posted by Michele McHenry | August 13, 2008 12:59 PM

Hi Ellen,
I'm at work, 12 hour night shift probably not supposed to be doing this but if this is my worst infraction in life then so be it. My daughter just loves you, says you remind her of me. what an honor. I love to watch you interact with your mom, i recently, June 10th, lost my mom. well i didn't lose her she went to heaven. My daughter and i are very close, her nickname is moankey, we each have a monkey on our keychains. We have two adorable cats, Maine coons, both of homeless moms. Rambo he was our first one to get, eight years old now and loves the smell of cherry and chocolate. Mahzi she's only three and born on my birthday too, Aug. 29th., not the same year that would make her a dinosaur. Your genuine compassion for animals and life is refreshing. Oh yeah I can't dance but you inspire me to enjoy the beat anyway. continue to be just who you are and we will strive to do the same.

Posted by mary nickelson | August 10, 2008 5:13 PM

I HAD A STROKE AND NOW NEXT FRIDAY THEY ARE OPERATION[NG SO YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE MY SPELING. IF YOU NEW HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO TYPE THIS. BUI I WANTED TO TYPE YOU AND SAY HI. I AM RELLY JUST TYPEING TO JUST SAY HI. MY DAUG FIXED THE COMPUTER SO I CAN LEARN TO WRITE AGAIN. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME WRITE TO UOU,

Posted by MONIE SCHUETTE | August 8, 2008 10:58 AM

Ellen,

Just watch out for the guys with really loose shorts, cus when they sit down alot of times you see their junk poppin out saying "hey I'm here too".

Women usually have tight to the leg shorts, but some are soo tight you can actually "lip read" if you know what I mean.

Posted by thepugpieper | August 6, 2008 2:42 PM

shorts on girls are sooo tight now... nothing is hidden. it is obscene

Posted by jess | July 21, 2008 2:42 AM

ellen i have sort of big ugly legs and i wear sorts all year long,and i come from cold,cold part of the u.s. it,s good o`yankton s.d.!!!!! so you go girl. oh did i mention i turn 60 july 21 2008.

Posted by beverlylarson | July 20, 2008 12:57 PM

Hi Ellen, Just want to say I love everything you do for animals, they need a voice.
I have a kitty, miniature bunny and a guinea pig, no I don't have children, their just mine!

Anyway thanks again and if you find any time, check out the work my sister is doing for animals, it is quite amazing. Here is her website:

www.thewritecauseforanimals.org/about.html

Keep up the great work you do, and as soon as my kittys teeth are fixed I am going to try your Halo brand of pet food.

Fondly, Michele

Posted by Michele Bertini | July 9, 2008 2:36 PM

Ellen June 25,2008
I want you to know how much you have ment to me this last year and a half.I have watch your show every day. If I couldn't watch it I would tape it. You make me laught, smile and of course I get up and Dance. For at least that 1 hour a day I for get that I have Lung Cancer. You are a Ray of sunshine on a rainy day. I realy don't know what I would of done without your smiley face everyday.
THANK YOU for being that funny,caring and loveing person that everyone loves about you. I'm alway happy to here about any good news for you. Congradulation on your up coming Wedding!!!!! I know you will have a lovely one!!!!! We all love you so very much ELLEN. I pray that you will be on TV for many many years to come.

Posted by Rhonda Cowles | June 25, 2008 9:57 PM

Although my shorts are more of a 12-16....love the shorts comments...when it is this HOT....lets face it HOT...I am in Laguna Beach and just returned from Palm Desert...It seems hotter here...because of no air conditioner...you only need it now and then....as in NOW...mostly...but shorts...so fun...makes you feel like summer and sawdust festival...which opens next week...but we are enjoying the wild surf at sunset because of the heat...have to head down for the shore.

Love you and all of your comments...

hope to come to your show soon!!

Kari

Posted by Kari Ovens | June 22, 2008 10:08 PM

This why I have been a fan of yours before you got rich, I more fond of you now almost on the verge of love . We think so much alike its scary . The four way stop, head nod, oh you're not ready to go so I will thats me . The shopping cart putting things in taking things out of an unattended cart thats me . Its so refreshing to know I'm not the only one .

Posted by charles | June 22, 2008 11:34 AM

Great presentation on the shorts and gee, so timely and all. If it ever gets warm enough to wear them in NE Ohio, I'll be sure to slather up my stunning bright white fence posts.
Interestingly enough, my boyfriend and I were just discussing this about a week ago and I completely forgot a fav description of my Mom's and as it turns out, his too.
We wondered this right out loud: (yeah, it's spooky)
Whatever happened to clam diggers? What category does that fit into anyhow?
:>) Susan

Posted by Susan | June 19, 2008 12:25 PM

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