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Ellen's Thoughts | Friday, May 30, 2008 | 11:00 AM

Shorts: The New Pants

This is a great time of year, isn’t it? The sun is shining, the birds are singing and you can smell summer just around the corner... it’s either summer or Aunt Bee is cooling a rhubarb pie on the windowsill. “Andyyyy?” It’s not summer yet... and I have a confession to make; I’ve been wearing my shorts. I know you’re saying, “Ellen, it’s only May! Are you Loco?” And to that Isay, “Un poquito.”

I love shorts. I find that shorts are the most underrated article of clothing. They’re cool and breezy. Most shorts have pockets, so there’s always a place to put your hands. And when you’re wearing shorts, you’re really saying, “I feel casual AND confident... I’d like to introduce you to my legs.” I actually like to wear longer shorts. Shorts are so long now, they’re pants. And that’s fine with me, but they need to be baggy. If they’re tight, then they’re Capri pants, the cousin of the short. I say the baggier the better, because if you’re like me, your weight fluctuates and you have clothes ranging from size 8 to 12. These can go right in the middle. When you’re a size 8, they sit a little lower. When you’re a size 12, they’re a little higher. Either way, you’re good to go.

There are so many types of shorts. There’re culottes, gauchos, Bermuda shorts… those come with a camera you can hang around your neck and a fanny pack. I have one tip for you if you’re putting on shorts for the first time in a long time: moisturize! We neglect our legs all winter long, and if you put shorts on before you moisturize, it looks like you’re standing on two, long HoneyBaked Hams. And Easter’s over.

next: A Comic Called Wanda

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Ellen,
I just want u to know that my birthday is coming up and I would love to be able to come to your show. See my mom just passed away last month and she was one of your biggest fans. There wasn't a day that she didn't watch your show and I would watch it with her. It would mean so much to come see your show. I've only been out of texas once and it was for a wedding. Love you and your show and I hope to hear from you soon!
Your friend,
Jami White

Posted by Jami White | August 19, 2009 2:06 PM

Hi Ellen,my name is perpetua frm nigeria i have been ur show for about 2yrs now just want u to know that i luv ur show so... Much, i luv u because u brighten my day u make me happy although i have never traveled before it is my prayer that God grants me the oppotunity to set my eyes on u just once,till then ur fan, Perpetua. Cheers.

Posted by Morka | July 16, 2009 10:28 AM

Hi Ellen...well I love shorts as well...I live in central america that most be why...hmmm I hope you know that on of the names of the many types of shorts is actually a really nasty word in spanish....culottes?? who names shorts that way??? Your show is amazing I try to watch it every day...and it really makes my day happier...wish I could see you live its really one of the best shows on tv not like any other talk show!! you're great Ellen keep going.
p.s. loved Tony's pictures...such a great athlete don't you think!!and today's game was hillarious(whistle and the crakers)I almost pee my pants!!!!


love ya Ellen you're great !!!

Posted by cinthia | June 29, 2009 7:46 PM

Are you old enough to remember "clam diggers"???

Posted by sylva smith | June 6, 2009 3:02 PM

Hi ellen, you know what? i haven't seen your program before, actually i didn't have idea that it exist maybe is because i am from mexico city, now and i am in vancouver and i have seen your program and i am not just sorprice, i don't know which is the word that describes how sorprice i am of you of your program its perfect, amaizing i know that these are words that all time your fanns most write to you!, but you can't imagine how proud and sorprised i feel to have meet the person that you are, i really never imagine that in the world could be someone like you, so kind, funn, friendly, happy, i mean you are a so nice human!

i am so glad to have found your show in the tv!
and to met you!

Posted by alma Iliana Martinez | June 5, 2009 10:13 PM

Hi Ellen,
I know I'm commenting on this way after you posted, but I just had to tell you that I laughed out loud. It was so funny. I was holding my 3 month old and he just starred at me like I was crazy because I was laughing so much.
Thanks for making the world a little brighter.
~Melissa

Posted by Melissa Parson | June 4, 2009 10:23 AM

Ellen
hi it's me Brenda Ybarra from La Feria,tx.. I know you proablly don't know where it's at cause none of the celebirtys come vistit this small town. I always watch your show and i love your thoughts,but my best show was about the monkey who always wacthes your show thats real cute. i feel so down right now cause im for months pregant and it's my first baby and my husband job is really slow so he's not making enough money to save for the baby. He also is behinde child support and he has to pay a title laon so my truck might be tooken aways cause we haven't saved it's sucks i hope there is an angle out there who will help us get threw this.I don't want the farhter to my first child to be locked up. I mean i have tons a problems his mom dislikes me and as for my family they hate me i lost two brothers in 06 who where my best friends and would help me on anything,i have nobody besides my husband left in this world please tell me that the world isn't hell cause i feel like crap.. GOD BLESS YOU ELLEN
Your Friend
Brenda Ybarra

Posted by brenda | May 21, 2009 4:40 PM

Dear Ellen,
Your my hero!! You make me laugh every day and I'm in love with you:-) not for real but if I were a lesbian you would be the only one for me!!;-) I'm from MN and I start wearing shorts when its 50 out!! They are my favorite thing ever and I only wear them long! Long basketball shorts are the way to go!
Thank you for always keeping me happy:-)

Posted by Laura | May 20, 2009 3:36 PM

Hi, it's me again,
I didn't know how else to get ahold of you. I told you I would keep you updated on the Couchiching Reserve contamination problem. Well, they did an air quality tests on all the families that live in the conatminated area. The normal readings for a Swipe test are 3.9% and the vacuum test is acceptable for 1.7%. Everyone on Harry's Road is between 30-300%. This is a disaster. They can't sue the owner of the sawmill that created this contamination coz he's dead. There are 10 families that need relocation. On this reserve, you get your lot but you have to pay for your dwelling. They could buy them out or settle through Indian Affairs. They are actually the ones responsible for allowing the sawmill to be put there in the first place. They had the say. Now, I guess they're running scared. People's lives are at stake. Children of now may not be able to procreate. C'mon now. What's up with that? So who pays for the relocation? The people have to stand up for what is right and protective for their families. Let's get some recognition for what is happening here. I will keep you updated.
We're going to put it out into the media and protest if need be. I think that every disaster needs reognition, be it big or small. In these days we need to stand behind each other. If we do, then I think we just might surive. So, I will keep you updated. Yeah, it's a Canadian thing. later,cindy

Posted by cindy | May 19, 2009 7:37 PM

hmmm makes me wonder how come i havent see any picture of ellen wearing shorts???is ther any pix leaked on the net wich shes wearing shorts?


Posted by icantthinkofaname | May 17, 2009 11:57 AM

I truly enjoy your commentary. Because you simply speak the truth.It's like people are all the same, and you bring that to your audience. Love the short comment's. Seriously, total truth. You rock girl !!!

Posted by Debbie | May 15, 2009 12:15 PM

I live in the Sunshine City of Laoag, Philippines where shorts is a necessity. I have all kinds of shorts in plains, prints, and in every color.

You inspire me, Ellen. Too bad, the local television cable shows old episodes of Ellen. I'm grateful, nonetheless. You're always a breath of fresh air and a ray of hope. True, "Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it’s worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers... " I luv ya!

Posted by Tina Tan | May 6, 2009 12:47 AM

Finally, some praise to shorts. I've been a shorts guy all my life and wear them almost year round (and I don't live in California). Somtimes in the rainy Seattle winter people will look at me like I'm crazy for wearing shorts, but I'm comfortable and if I were actually as cold as people seem to think I am, I would suffer through wearing pants. Thank you again !!!

Posted by Rocky | April 24, 2009 7:06 AM

I like my habit myself...it's an extra large potato sack with built in air conditioning and lots of room to grow to new sizes...and ya never have to worry about anyone looking anywhere else...all they see is my lips and peepers so it's all good...a good habit I think should be worn by everyone...then ya can go with the flow and hang yer beeds bling bling too...and it also comes with full neck appeal chokers too....so a good sack is good for me...thank you for enlightening us though...I learned a lot more now about loose shorts to da babies got back tight shorts...and now to my it's all good in my back hood cover....take care now Ellen and may yer shorts fit you the way you want em too...
1Tink

Posted by 1Tink | April 24, 2009 1:49 AM

Ellen, you rock my world! Sometimes I feel as though I can't make it up in the morning, or get through the day, and you're there. You've saved me more times than even I can imagine with your wit and love for humanity, pets and the earth, and of course, Clooney. (We're on a last name basis, don'tcha know?) You have such intriguing guests from the supremely talented stars (good), to the amazingly simple, honest great everyday people that really do exist, Auntie El, and make you want to rededicate your life, and soul to redirecting the world and all her people back to the goodness I believe can triumph. You make things real, Ellen, when sometimes we forget what it's all about (Elfie!)(I've noticed that I can't sing on the computer -sad, really), and help shepherd people back to the humanity which really is innate to us all, sometimes just forgotten. In a phrase, dear Ellen, I love you, and what you stand for, and with whom you stand. You've led me to like everyone from cute little kids to Kid Rock, which I never would have believed. You've opened my eyes musically and have gotten me out of the 60's and into the current world, which my therapists have been trying to do for years now, and have introduced me to more fascinating tidbits of semi-important information than I even thought possible! Just know that your 'work' is being carried on by millions, and yes, me too, gladly banding together, yet unknown to each other, but for the purpose of righting injustices, and trying to heal the world.(Amen)
Thank you. June

Posted by June Derby | April 22, 2009 7:03 AM

Hey Ellen, I just want to say that even though I'm only 13, I really love your show. It's number 4 on my rating system (after Bones, House, and Friends). I think that you are the funniest and you are one of my heroes. After I get home from school, its relaxing to turn on your show, sit down and LAUGH. I hope your show never goes off the air. You're totally awesome and hilarious. Keep on dancing!!!!!

P.S. Say hi to Mr. Kitty for me. I ♥ cats...

Posted by ...Victoria☺ | April 20, 2009 11:38 AM

Elen I just love your show you are someone who can make me laugh and It makes my day. The last seven months I havd delt with my huband with troath cancer and I needed that laugh. He is cancr free now thank God. But I still love wacthing your show. Thank u so much and the best on your marriage. You are my God sent.
Janice Ross,

Posted by Janice | April 15, 2009 5:18 PM

Dear Ellen, Whats the craic? I seen a new episode from 2007 just aired in ireland you seem to sober to be live an television here in ireland. Although you seem to be a mad as a bag as spiders. I heard your getting married soon, best of luck with that hope it all goes well. Its early in the morning here i havent had a drink yet so im off to have some corn flakes and vodka with a lepracan. Give my regards to colin farell all in anyways off to get locked.
slan go foill
Pasty
P.s May winds blow and blarey grow.
May porter flow in rivers.
May we drink are fill from VAT and still.
But not destroy our livers Amen.

Posted by patsy c | April 15, 2009 5:03 PM

I have to tell you that my SO will be working in his office and there I am out in the Living Room watching your show. He hears me laughing hysterically many times and I am always calling him out to see some of the games you have people play. Yesterday was an absolute riot. All I could think of at first was "weebles wobble but they don't fall down". Well how wrong was I? Your show is the best I have ever seen and it brightens my day even that much more even though it is not on until 4:00pm my time. But I find myself chuckling on and off all night at some of the hysterical things you do. Don't ever stop being you, you're a hoot!!!!! Thank you for many days of laughter and yes tears from that laughter.

Elizabeth

Posted by Elizabeth Naylor | April 2, 2009 9:28 AM

hi ellen pretty plz could u plz answer this comment i am addicted to ur show but do not know how to become a guess in ur show cos i do not live in the usa. i am in canada but not a citizen plz advice me thnx

Posted by charmaine | March 29, 2009 10:37 PM

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