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Ellen's Thoughts | Thursday, May 29, 2008 | 11:00 AM

Bananas on Board

I live high up on a hill. Not at the top. That's where the castle is. I'm right below. The streets are very narrow, winding and long… they're long and winding roads. I'm going to stop quoting songs in just a minute. I noticed that people drive like crazy on these streets. Sometimes cars are parked on both sides of street, which makes it extra narrow and dangerous. Normal people say, "I should go slower, in case a car is coming," but I guess I don’t live around normal people. When I’m driving and I approach someone coming the other way, I slow down, pull over as far as I can and give them that head nod that means, "You go ahead." Usually they just stay there. It's like a four-way stop where nobody makes the first move. So finally, you say, "You had your chance, sucker!" Then you gun it. Then they decide, "Well, maybe I’ll go."

The same thing happens with carts at the liquor store… I mean, the grocery store. There’s always somebody who leaves their cart in middle of the aisle. I just move it out of the way, but I'll be very casual about it. For some reason, moving someone else's cart seems illegal. I don't know why. It's not even their food yet. They haven't bought it. Technically, you should be able to shop out of their cart if you see something you want. "Oh, these bananas look riper than mine." I think the rule should be: If your shopping cart is blocking the aisle and you’re not around to move it, people should be allowed to shop from your cart… or put extra stuff in. So, if you’re ever at the grocery store checkout line and the guy in front of you says, “These aren’t my bananas!” and then pulls out a five gallon tub of Marshmallow Fluff and says, “I didn’t put this in here!” -- you’ll know I’m somewhere close by.

next: You Paid for These?

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Ellen I think that is so funny! I agree I always apologize to the person who left their cart in the middle of the isle or in front of my section I need.And it always happens that when I am moving it "walla here they are" and I start apologizing. I was raised to do the apology thing, but what I really should do is have someone with me, or me, to move their cart two isles over or if I do not have much in my cart I should just change carts what do you think?Either of these would confuse the heck out of them! What do you think? Try it and let me know o.k.? I would let you know but I don't get to the store anymore well no more than 0-1 times monthly. Love ya Linda Noton

Posted by Linda Noton | June 20, 2009 7:31 PM

I would so love for this to happen around here to some of the people in my local store . But I dont know which is worse leaving the cart or standing infront of items talking for about an hour ..I always run into those two women who stand there and play catch up then when you say excuse me can I please get the bread behind you its like your asking them for a huge favor ! I think they need to put car horns on shopping carts .But could you imange the isle rage ? ..lol

Posted by Kristina mommy of 4 | May 12, 2009 8:26 AM

hmm.. nice..

Posted by Bugecobe | April 13, 2009 9:55 AM

I have done that all my life. It is logical and not against the law. I just don't like the fact that you have to pay the same prices if you check yourself out,(doing someone else's job), and not getting paid for it. You have to pack your own stuff. You scan your own food. And still you pay the same price if someone else does it wrong. They are two sandwiches shy of a pic-nic, if you know what I mean. Keep it going, girl-friend. Love ya....davi

Posted by davi taylor | April 1, 2009 6:40 PM

Hey Ellen, Our grandaughter wanted to go to Sonic. We thought she wanted ice cream as she is three. When we arrived she announced she would like a banana sooooo. banana it was. Just another banana story.lol lov ya.

Posted by Robin | March 26, 2009 11:29 PM

so you're the one who put all those cucumbers inmy cart Thanks!!

Posted by kATHY | March 2, 2009 8:20 PM

y did u marry a girl that is 10 years younger than u. Y r u a lesbian.

Posted by Rachel | February 2, 2009 2:35 PM

y r u a lesbian, and y marry someone who is 10 years younger than u?

Posted by Rachel | February 2, 2009 2:27 PM

SO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT IT WAS "THEEEE" ELLEN DEGENERES THAT PUT THAT VIAGRA IN MY SHOPPING CART LAST TUESDAY?? GEEEEZ IM NOT AN OLD MAN! IM NOT EVEN A MAN! I NEVER WENT BACK TO THAT PICK AND PAY EVER AGAIN....

Posted by CLUELESS | January 31, 2009 7:25 PM

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Posted by awjqnlx grlknfimh | January 22, 2009 10:31 PM

I was walking passed a woman's cart the other day and noticed she had everything for spaghetti except garlic bread so I put mine in her cart when she wasn't looking trying to complete her meal. It ended up costing her about $4 extra, but I'm sure if she knew me and knew I'd done it, she'd thank me...don't you think?

Posted by OK Single Mom | December 3, 2008 8:10 AM

Dear Ellen, Hi HI HI HI It's the day care
HI Ellen ENJOY
News letter for Thanksgiving.....No need to call the Butter ball hotline... we have all the advice right here to make your Holiday a sweet success!

Justin, age 3 . You cook it this long, (arms out this much)With stuffing and mashed potatoes and cheese cake thats everything...

Bryce age 3 We got the turkey from Florida (we are in Mass) then cook it. You put it in the oven for 2 minutes cook well Soups and whoppee pies.
Madison age 5 Go toWalmart and buy the turkey bringit home cook it for 20 hours potatos too
Madison C age 2 put it in the oven for 2 min. with sauce chicken nuggets and french fries

Kyle age 4 We don't have turkey we have noodles curley ones we eat them

Kyle m We get the turkey from the wild its a pinata and you take it and hit it the stuff comes out you eat the yummy stuff yea thats it

Maria age4 Mom puts the stuffing in the turkey she puts it in the oven on 1 degree for 1 hour
Kyle Your going to the farm your going to cook it at uncle peters. Were going to cook it outside where the playground is. cook it for 5 min. outside on the big stove. we cook then cut it with forks mr. Tom the turkey is going to be eaten up... Then milk shakes then after we are going to make pictures of pilgrams....

Ellen I asked my day care every year how to cook a Turkey I love it and I hope u do to... Love Mar

Posted by Marybeth Carlsen | November 20, 2008 12:28 PM

HAAA! Yes! What is it with people and their shopping carts anyway? It's funny how people can be...Usually I'll just give it a gentle shove if the cart pusher is off someplace meditating or whatever...(they certainly are somewhere else).
I try to treat the cart thing the same way I do the road thing....follow the rules, then it's smooth for everybody..(duh!)

Posted by Shelly M. | September 29, 2008 8:28 PM

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Posted by ldou ocdkn | September 27, 2008 12:01 AM

hi ellen I know you love animals well how about pink flamingo bathin down here in hot sunny fla. I would love to send you a clip that we filmed in st. pete today a beutiful pink flamingo bathing cooling off in the summer's heat down here this bird has more sence they we do observing him. how do I send this clip to you and e mail address could you send me please if not look on u tube flamingo bathing I think you will get a kick out of this one mother nature at it's best I am comenting in the background trying to make flamingo sounds I finally gave up and said a u ga ha ha hope you get to this this one! on your show you say send me pics or films and that is what I am doing for your enjoyment thanks ellen love your show watch it all the time down here in tampa bay area channel 11 abc love ya Joann

Posted by joann ogonowski | September 21, 2008 6:12 PM

Whats even worse is when you "gun it:stop Gun it wave them ahead: stop; and then gun it again, and still nobody has crossed the threshold of the intersection. It is like a car dance or something.

Posted by Sandy | September 16, 2008 1:37 PM

lol, : )

One time some very nice neighbors of my grandparents got back from the grocery store, and found that they had about 6 dozzen eggs and 4 packages of english muffins that they didn't remember putting in thier cart, or checking out with, or even getting in their car with for that matter (they're old, what can I say....but they're great people), and so they brought over to my granparents half of the groceries that they didn't remember buying and asked them if they wanted them, and of course my grandparent were happy to take them off their hands. I happened to be over at thier house to witness all of this, and me being a big fan of the show, imidiately remembered reading this. So, thanks for the eggs and english muffins, Ellen! Even though chances are it wasn't you, I can dream can't I?

Posted by Fly on the wall | August 30, 2008 9:04 PM

You Are Freakin' Hilarious!
I'm reading your banana story, following from the beginning, and I get to just after the "long and winding road" and you saying you're going to stop quoting. You're showing your sense of humour the same way as when you are on your stage. So then I have to laugh, read the lines over, and "oh, I get it." And read from the start again.
Even when we read what you write we still laugh the same way as when we hear you live.
Yes I know what we see live is written by You and others. But still...you make me laugh either way, any way.
LOL's and Smiles,
Adrienne

Posted by Adrienne | August 26, 2008 10:41 PM

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