May 2008 Archives

Today Ellen welcomed Steven Flaig and Christine Tallady. Steven was searching for his birth mother -- and found out that it was was his co-worker, Christine!

Ellen's show is going to be a real circus. She wants to tell you about it in her best ringmaster voice.

Last week, Senator John McCain joined Ellen for a frank but funny discussion on many of the issues that affect us all.

This is a great time of year, isn’t it? The sun is shining, the birds are singing and you can smell summer just around the corner... it’s either summer or Aunt Bee is cooling a rhubarb pie on the windowsill. “Andyyyy?” It’s not summer yet... and I have a confession to make; I’ve been wearing my shorts. I know you’re saying, “Ellen, it’s only May! Are you Loco?” And to that Isay, “Un poquito.”

I love shorts. I find that shorts are the most underrated article of clothing. They’re cool and breezy. Most shorts have pockets, so there’s always a place to put your hands. And when you’re wearing shorts, you’re really saying, “I feel casual AND confident... I’d like to introduce you to my legs.” I actually like to wear longer shorts. Shorts are so long now, they’re pants. And that’s fine with me, but they need to be baggy. If they’re tight, then they’re Capri pants, the cousin of the short. I say the baggier the better, because if you’re like me, your weight fluctuates and you have clothes ranging from size 8 to 12. These can go right in the middle. When you’re a size 8, they sit a little lower. When you’re a size 12, they’re a little higher. Either way, you’re good to go.

There are so many types of shorts. There’re culottes, gauchos, Bermuda shorts… those come with a camera you can hang around your neck and a fanny pack. I have one tip for you if you’re putting on shorts for the first time in a long time: moisturize! We neglect our legs all winter long, and if you put shorts on before you moisturize, it looks like you’re standing on two, long HoneyBaked Hams. And Easter’s over.

Wanda Sykes stopped by the show Wednesday and was hilarious as usual. She took on prehistoric congresswomen, and talked about her inner conflict about voting for either Barack or Hillary.

It's only a day away. So listen to Ellen giving us all the fantastic details about tomorrow's show.

Congratulations to Dancer #3.

You were selected as yesterday's Best Dancer by Ellen's world wide web of voters!

All week long you have been voting for your favorite audience dancer, and now the competition gets tougher. It's up to you to choose the Best Audience Dancer of the Week. Is it Monday's? Tuesday's? Or Wednesday's? Vote now!

Thank you for voting.

Her first television acting break was in the made for TV movie, “Nurses on the Line: The Crash of Flight 7.”

One of her first big breaks was in 1990 on the comedy series, “In Living Color.”

At the start of her career, she worked with Janet Jackson.

She is the first actress to have a movie and a music album hit #1 in the same week.

I live high up on a hill. Not at the top. That's where the castle is. I'm right below. The streets are very narrow, winding and long… they're long and winding roads. I'm going to stop quoting songs in just a minute. I noticed that people drive like crazy on these streets. Sometimes cars are parked on both sides of street, which makes it extra narrow and dangerous. Normal people say, "I should go slower, in case a car is coming," but I guess I don’t live around normal people. When I’m driving and I approach someone coming the other way, I slow down, pull over as far as I can and give them that head nod that means, "You go ahead." Usually they just stay there. It's like a four-way stop where nobody makes the first move. So finally, you say, "You had your chance, sucker!" Then you gun it. Then they decide, "Well, maybe I’ll go."

The same thing happens with carts at the liquor store… I mean, the grocery store. There’s always somebody who leaves their cart in middle of the aisle. I just move it out of the way, but I'll be very casual about it. For some reason, moving someone else's cart seems illegal. I don't know why. It's not even their food yet. They haven't bought it. Technically, you should be able to shop out of their cart if you see something you want. "Oh, these bananas look riper than mine." I think the rule should be: If your shopping cart is blocking the aisle and you’re not around to move it, people should be allowed to shop from your cart… or put extra stuff in. So, if you’re ever at the grocery store checkout line and the guy in front of you says, “These aren’t my bananas!” and then pulls out a five gallon tub of Marshmallow Fluff and says, “I didn’t put this in here!” -- you’ll know I’m somewhere close by.

It's time for another installment of everybody's favorite, Bad Paid For Photos. Make sure you take a look. These are some of the best worst paid for photos yet!

Ellen was delighted to have Patrick Henry Hughes as her guest. He is an inspiration to us all and a testament to courage and determination. If you would like to know more about Patrick, or contact him, check out his website at http://patrickhenryhughes.com/

Check Patrick’s website soon for details on his inspirational book coming out this fall!

Patrick Hughes charmed Ellen with his positive attitude and can-do spirit. Then he sang her a song.

Congratulations to Dancer #3.

You were selected as yesterday's Best Dancer by Ellen's world wide web of voters!

Here are today’s three dancing audience members. Vote for your favorite! At the end of the week, the best audience dancers from Monday through Thursday will compete for Best Audience Dancer of the Week!

Thank you for voting.

The reformed legendary band Journey made their television debut Wednesday on Ellen. Neal Schon found their new lead singer on YouTube.

On Wednesday, Ellen welcomed Kathy Freston, author of "Quantum Wellness: A Practical Guide to Health and Happiness." Kathy urged that everyone can get on the road to better health and happiness -- it just takes one step at a time.

On Wednesday, Ellen explained song lyrics in her “What The Hell Are Those Kids Talking About?” segment.

I went to the grocery store this weekend to buy some sundries, and something horrific happened. I got caught in line behind a woman who paid with a check. That's pure torture. I thought I was on "Punk'd." Who pays with a check anymore? I never do. I only use my American Express card. (wink) Writing out a check could not take longer. First of all, they don't even get the checkbook out until everything's bagged. Then they have to look at the driver's license, get a manager's approval, stamp it, put it in the special drawer... sacrifice a goat. It takes forever. Then they take out their register and balance their checkbook before they leave. "Let's see, carry the one, take away the nine, add the four..." Even when I used checks, I didn't record them. I just waited for them to bounce and then I knew how much I spent. And if you make a mistake, then you have to void it and start over, or put your initials on it to make it "legal." Is that really legal? How do they know who wrote the initials? It's just two capital letters. Unless you're Prince. Then it's just the one; "P." Maybe that's why he changed his name to that symbol for a while. Harder to forge. I'll bet he has purple checks... with rain on them. Purple Rain checks. Some people take the time to write in the "memo" line. That's so when they get their canceled checks back, they can remember what they were for. "To the LAPD. LAPD? What's this for? (look down to memo line) Ah, yes... bail. Lucky there's that memo line. I thought it was a reminder section. Like, if you write a check to your plumber. In the memo section you can put, "Remember to wear a belt next time you fix my sink."

His middle name is Allison.

He served in the US Marine Corps.

His first movie role was in “Coneheads.”

On Wednesday, Journey stuck around and treated Ellen's studio audience and you guys -- her wonderful website readers -- to their classic hit, "Faithfully."

Ellen, who has a Ph.D in "Hip Hop-ology," explains to various e-mailers and the rest of us what these kids are talking about in their song lyrics.