April 11, 2008 | Posted at 9:00 AM

I Go Crackers for Crackers


Today for lunch I am having tuna salad on a bed of lettuce with crackers. Just look at that pile of tuna salad lying so peacefully on that bed of lettuce. I've told you about my bed of lettuce, haven't I? Oh, it is so comfortable. I sleep like a baby... caterpillar. I love crackers. I love them because they sound like their name. Just like squash or... Slurpees. There are many kinds of crackers; saltine, oyster, animal, fire, Crackerjacks. The inventor of the cracker was Admiral Clarence Crackerton. He spent years trying to invent a crunchy soup and was about to give up, until one day he accidentally left his iron sitting on a loaf of bread and thus crackers were invented. Incidentally, Admiral Crackerton eventually went crazy trying to invent the Triscuit, which is where the term "He's gone crackers" came from.

Enjoy your lunch.

Ellen

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I guess you haven't eaten lunch in a while huh? I mean since this is the last one you have posted. Oh well. I guess all those wedding plans are taking up your time. Well good luck...and I hope you get to eat again sometime soon.
-Brandi

Posted by Brandi L | June 21, 2008 8:04 PM

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Have your tuna salad with a few slices of avocado next time to make it more interesting.

Posted by Mimi | May 19, 2008 8:31 PM

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Hola Ellen
Remember Mother's Day is coming
so I wrote this for my mother. I do not have a melody for it yet so if you do make one up as beautiful as " I don't need no emmy" please keep it simple so I can play in on my national ukulele.


I love my mommies ckicken pot pie

it curls my smile really high
it gives me happy sigh
that I am such a lucky guy

Cause when its in the oven
it smells so good

its the best darn pie in the
whole neighborhood

I love my mommies ckicken pot pie

no matter where I go
I will remember it every day

and when I see her again
I will say 'you make it best your way'.

I love my mommies chicken pot pie
chicken pot pie

Posted by Slim Ukulele | April 14, 2008 12:49 AM

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Hi Ellen,

I have eaten a whole package of saltine crackers this week with Pepsi. Why, because my stomach has been upset. Love your show!
Mindy

Posted by Mindy Bulishak | April 13, 2008 5:48 PM

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I loved the cracker story!!! Here's how my family got famous...(wink wink, nudge nudge)

Gramps once ironed a chicken when it flew into the kitchen and got trapped under the iron..(HIC) granny complained that the feathers were burnt so he chased her to the fowl run to pick another chicken - Mmmh! it tasted so good cos it ate so good...the old tart plucked the feathers and slapped it on the ironing board, sprinkled a pile of bread crumbs over it and ironed the thing flat as a bleedin' panecake and granny said it was finger licken good....they named their culinary accident after gramps, you guessed right -Col. Sanders .. second cousin twice removed from Admiral Crackerton..from Kentucky actually..

Big Ellen Fan from S.A. - Maggie

Posted by maggie | April 13, 2008 11:51 AM

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I too love crackerd I eat crackers for lunch everyday. I eat Ritz wheat crackers and yoket for lunch at work. I love a lot of crackers in my soup. Love ya Ellen. Dont forget to send me my tickets for Chicago.

Posted by Marilyn Riley | April 13, 2008 8:44 AM

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My Lhasa Apso, Bailey,, goes 'crackers' for Keebler Club Crackers. He is blind and deaf but boy he can sniff them out a mile away and you better fork one over immediately!

Posted by Joan Malone | April 13, 2008 6:40 AM

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Looks so delicious!! Wish I had that for dinner right now!!

Posted by ~Tara | April 12, 2008 3:33 PM

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Everyone, these crackers are really good.

Keebler's Townhouse Flipsides Pretzel Crackers.
They are delicious.

Posted by Michele Arbour | April 12, 2008 9:01 AM

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Hi Ellen..you make everyone feel like they could be your best friend..a terrific quality to have since everyone likes to be validated by someone or something.Love your quick wit and also your meandering back door humor..you are a true gift to us all...

Posted by Lynette Perkins | April 11, 2008 9:21 PM

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a very light meal Ellen! That is just a snack to me lol :) hahahaha.. :) take care love the show always! I finally found KNBC on our TV! lol..I had to search for it..we don't have cable for now. I can do without cables..Your show is on top of my list of fave shows, I'm glad we have your show on local channel. I just bought an antenna lol :)

Posted by (no longer) bored on weekends | April 11, 2008 7:47 PM

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I love crackers too Ellen!!
But i only really REALLY love
Zesta's by keebler...
Oh yeah & ritz...and DON"T
get me started on Town House
crackers....i can eat em plain
ALL DAY LONG!!!!
Anyway i just wanted to let you
know that..Even though it is
neither here nor there
LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
dani cleveland
from Omaha

Posted by dani cleveland | April 11, 2008 9:58 AM

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Oooooo, Ellen, looks good. Gobs & gobs of tuna salad - one of my favorites!
And I have many favori...........uh, never mind; almost sounds like I'm repeating something, here.
Lunch today, in Middle America (just a hoot and a holler from Chicago, but still not close enough - bummer!) but in Middle America, it's a double cheeseburger and fries. AND..............I've got some crackers w/pb&j for dessert.
Funny you should mention how the phrase "he's gone crackers" was invented. Working at a Community Mental Health Center, I can now share with Co-workers the history of this phrase that has become somewhat associated with our Center.
Although.........if Admiral Crackerton was attending our Facility today, I'm quite sure that with all our many Fine Clinicians, Nurses, Therapists, and Dr.s who work here (with 2 exceptions), the Admiral would have already learned to accept the occasional failure, and he would probably be working on bigger and better inventions even as we.....uh......speak. (if he hasn't already through his grand kids - who was the inventer of the 'CrackerBarrell' Restaurants, anyways?)
keep 'em laughing, Ellen!

aloysius

Posted by aloysius | April 11, 2008 9:52 AM

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Wow is that really true about the Admiral? I am presuming it is because you wouldn't lie to us lol.

I love crackers too but not because of the sound they make. I love them because I am crackers lol.

BTW that does look like an awful lot of tuna salad lol.

Posted by Amanda | April 11, 2008 9:10 AM

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