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30 Seconds To Air


"Oh, not you again," Ellen thought to herself as the back stage photographer snapped another surprise candid shot. "I think she's starting to get tired of me," the back stage photographer thought to himself. Then he blurted out, "Sorry, it's my job." "I understand," Ellen sighed. "People want to know what I'm doing just before the show. Even if all I'm doing is standing backstage waiting. I know, I'll make a really crazy face so the photo will be more interesting." "Great! Thank you, Ellen." The photographer gushed.

At that point, Ellen made one of the funniest faces she's ever made. Unfortunately the camera jammed and Andy couldn't get the photo. But then, it was too late to get another one because it was already ...30 Seconds To Air.

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Comments (34) | Post a comment now »

I REALLY DON'T MIND THAT ELLEN IS GAY, BUT I DO THINK SHE SHOULD NOT ACT, AND DRESS LIKE A MAN. SHE IS STILL A WOMAN, SO I WISH SHE WOULD STOP CHOPPING HER HAIR SO SHORT, AS OF LATE. IT MAKES HER EARS STICK OUT AS WELL. SHE WAS MORE ATTRACTIVE WITH IT ALITTLE LONGER. AND, SHE SHOULD STOP PUTTING HER HANDS IN HER POCKETS, LIKE A MAN WTTH THAT STANCE, BUT I GUESS WHEN YOUR RICH AND FAMOUS, YOU FEEL YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT, EVEN IF SOME OF HER PUBLIC VIEWERS DISAGREE. SINCE SHE MARRIED PORTIA, SHE LOOKS AND ACTS MORE LIKE A MAN AS EACH DAY GOES BY! UGH!!


Hi Ellen,
I live in Vancouver, Canada and was wondering how come we cannot enter your 12 days of Christmas contest? I'm american but live in Canada....I was just wondering. I love the show watch it everyday!!!
Thanks
Melina

Posted by Melina | December 6, 2007 11:45 AM


Just a quick question - how come us residents in


canada cannot enter your 12 days of christmas contest - only US ??

Thanks ,, Your haliariuos - love the show !

Posted by Sheila Roberts | December 6, 2007 11:17 AM


well your show was one of my favourites. I watch you every day, but in logging onto your website, I notice that even if I want to email you, I have to live in the USA. Too bad you dont allow Canadians to email you, enter your contests or send in things of interests. Guess I will have to change the channel from now on. Oh yes, by the way, your drop down *country* box..contains many countries, but the state box..only allows USA states.

Posted by Judy | December 6, 2007 10:52 AM


Hi Ellen

I'll probably keep posting the same thing until you respond to it on your show. :0)


You and Stryker should do the Soldier Boy Dance on Air together. You are one of my all time favorite people in the whole world, next to my cat Pizmo of course.

I love your show. Tape it every day. I get home after work, pop my daily dose (40oz Miller) in the freezer, before hand pour some in my frozen mug. Do my chores, kitty litter, etc., then I sit down to watch your show, don't want to miss any of it, dance when you dance with pizzy sometimes, she doesn't like it too much. :0)

Happy Holidays to you, Porscha, your mom and your brother.

I'll be the first to welcome you to the 50 Club, I know your B-Day is not until January, but Happy 50th anyway. I'm 51 myself. I do the same dances as you, pretty much old school style. Love my Motown, rock and roll oldies, R&B.


Any ways, I hope you have a nice day.

A very big fan from San Francisco

Marian Estebez

Posted by Marian Estebez | December 6, 2007 8:14 AM


Ellen,

I love your show. So many days I never leave my house. After a horrible break-up, lost of job and income, and the upcoming Holidays alone. You have given me reasons to laugh. I've always adored you being a gay man and shy beyond belief. You are an icon to all of us and to Americans as a whole. I cherish your show and for those laugh once a day for a hour that can make my entire day seem less lonely. Thanks Ellen.

Posted by Dale Genereux | December 6, 2007 7:57 AM



Why don't you respond to people who contact you with information and archives of you, before you were famous. People who do not want to be on your show. But people who are funny and can write and can bring performance photos of you...perhaps even a cute and funny performance...BEFORE your big comedy club stint in New Orleans...before you were famous, like 1981

Posted by Friend of Rose | December 5, 2007 6:24 PM


ELLEN!


Yeah... not much you can do 30 seconds to air. You can win or lose a basketball game or a football game... or... maybe just about any game I guess... soccer too. A lot can be done in 30 seconds but sometimes 30 seconds seems to fly by while at other times it seems that you've entered a time warp continuium where time stands still.

I suppose Ellen, that it seems like it takes forever for those curtains to open 'cause you are bursting with excitment about the show... and then other times when your running behind and


then all of a sudden... its time.!!!

I like your curtains too.

do yoga, ride a bike back stage, shoot baskets, fiddle with your hair... What else could you do for Andy's camera???? Sit and pretend like your reading a book??? Yeah.. I'd be bewildered into what to do next for the 30 second filming!!! I mean really not much... just walking around... standing... yeah... I'm with you Ellen. ! :} honestly must you entertain all the time.... NOT!

Love this segment though!

Great idea... but if your bored with it.. then I'm ok with chaulking it to history.

Loved the bongo show. You know I've always liked the bongos... drums. I really liked that show.

Thanks for the laughs Ellen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T

Posted by Tonya | December 5, 2007 4:58 PM

Just a quick question - how come us residents in canada cannot enter your 12 days of christmas contest - only US ??

Thanks ,, Your haliariuos - love the show !

Posted by Sheila Roberts | December 6, 2007 11:17 AM


well your show was one of my favourites. I watch you every day, but in logging onto your website, I notice that even if I want to email you, I have to live in the USA. Too bad you dont allow Canadians to email you, enter your contests or send in things of interests. Guess I will have to change the channel from now on. Oh yes, by the way, your drop down *country* box..contains many countries, but the state box..only allows USA states.

Posted by Judy | December 6, 2007 10:52 AM


Hi Ellen

I'll probably keep posting the same thing until you respond to it on your show. :0)

You and Stryker should do the Soldier Boy Dance on Air together. You are one of my all time favorite people in the whole world, next to my cat Pizmo of course.

I love your show. Tape it every day. I get home after work, pop my daily dose (40oz Miller) in the freezer, before hand pour some in my frozen mug. Do my chores, kitty litter, etc., then I sit down to watch your show, don't want to miss any of it, dance when you dance with pizzy sometimes, she doesn't like it too much. :0)

Happy Holidays to you, Porscha, your mom and your brother.

I'll be the first to welcome you to the 50 Club, I know your B-Day is not until January, but Happy 50th anyway. I'm 51 myself. I do the same dances as you, pretty much old school style. Love my Motown, rock and roll oldies, R&B.

Any ways, I hope you have a nice day.

A very big fan from San Francisco

Marian Estebez

Posted by Marian Estebez | December 6, 2007 8:14 AM


Ellen,

I love your show. So many days I never leave my house. After a horrible break-up, lost of job and income, and the upcoming Holidays alone. You have given me reasons to laugh. I've always adored you being a gay man and shy beyond belief. You are an icon to all of us and to Americans as a whole. I cherish your show and for those laugh once a day for a hour that can make my entire day seem less lonely. Thanks Ellen.

Posted by Dale Genereux | December 6, 2007 7:57 AM


Why don't you respond to people who contact you with information and archives of you, before you were famous. People who do not want to be on your show. But people who are funny and can write and can bring performance photos of you...perhaps even a cute and funny performance...BEFORE your big comedy club stint in New Orleans...before you were famous, like 1981

Posted by Friend of Rose | December 5, 2007 6:24 PM


ELLEN!

Yeah... not much you can do 30 seconds to air. You can win or lose a basketball game or a football game... or... maybe just about any game I guess... soccer too. A lot can be done in 30 seconds but sometimes 30 seconds seems to fly by while at other times it seems that you've entered a time warp continuium where time stands still.

I suppose Ellen, that it seems like it takes forever for those curtains to open 'cause you are bursting with excitment about the show... and then other times when your running behind and then all of a sudden... its time.!!!

I like your curtains too.

do yoga, ride a bike back stage, shoot baskets, fiddle with your hair... What else could you do for Andy's camera???? Sit and pretend like your reading a book??? Yeah.. I'd be bewildered into what to do next for the 30 second filming!!! I mean really not much... just walking around... standing... yeah... I'm with you Ellen. ! :} honestly must you entertain all the time.... NOT!

Love this segment though!

Great idea... but if your bored with it.. then I'm ok with chaulking it to history.

Loved the bongo show. You know I've always liked the bongos... drums. I really liked that show.

Thanks for the laughs Ellen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T

Posted by Tonya | December 5, 2007 4:58 PM

Ellen-
Just
wanted
to
let
you
know
that
you
have
a
great
show.

Can't
wait
to
see
your
show
soon!!

Your show rocks

Hi ellen thanks for being supportive of gay men. You have been an insperation for my emotional well being. Love Allways TIM

ellen you are the best.. I love your show and keep doing what you do best

Hi Ellen,
I live in Vancouver, Canada and was wondering how come we cannot enter your 12 days of Christmas contest? I'm american but live in Canada....I was just wondering. I love the show watch it everyday!!!
Thanks
Melina

Just a quick question - how come us residents in canada cannot enter your 12 days of christmas contest - only US ??

Thanks ,, Your haliariuos - love the show !

well your show was one of my favourites. I watch you every day, but in logging onto your website, I notice that even if I want to email you, I have to live in the USA. Too bad you dont allow Canadians to email you, enter your contests or send in things of interests. Guess I will have to change the channel from now on. Oh yes, by the way, your drop down *country* box..contains many countries, but the state box..only allows USA states.

Hi Ellen

I'll probably keep posting the same thing until you respond to it on your show. :0)

You and Stryker should do the Soldier Boy Dance on Air together. You are one of my all time favorite people in the whole world, next to my cat Pizmo of course.

I love your show. Tape it every day. I get home after work, pop my daily dose (40oz Miller) in the freezer, before hand pour some in my frozen mug. Do my chores, kitty litter, etc., then I sit down to watch your show, don't want to miss any of it, dance when you dance with pizzy sometimes, she doesn't like it too much. :0)

Happy Holidays to you, Porscha, your mom and your brother.

I'll be the first to welcome you to the 50 Club, I know your B-Day is not until January, but Happy 50th anyway. I'm 51 myself. I do the same dances as you, pretty much old school style. Love my Motown, rock and roll oldies, R&B.

Any ways, I hope you have a nice day.

A very big fan from San Francisco

Marian Estebez

Ellen,

I love your show. So many days I never leave my house. After a horrible break-up, lost of job and income, and the upcoming Holidays alone. You have given me reasons to laugh. I've always adored you being a gay man and shy beyond belief. You are an icon to all of us and to Americans as a whole. I cherish your show and for those laugh once a day for a hour that can make my entire day seem less lonely. Thanks Ellen.

Why don't you respond to people who contact you with information and archives of you, before you were famous. People who do not want to be on your show. But people who are funny and can write and can bring performance photos of you...perhaps even a cute and funny performance...BEFORE your big comedy club stint in New Orleans...before you were famous, like 1981

ELLEN!

Yeah... not much you can do 30 seconds to air. You can win or lose a basketball game or a football game... or... maybe just about any game I guess... soccer too. A lot can be done in 30 seconds but sometimes 30 seconds seems to fly by while at other times it seems that you've entered a time warp continuium where time stands still.

I suppose Ellen, that it seems like it takes forever for those curtains to open 'cause you are bursting with excitment about the show... and then other times when your running behind and then all of a sudden... its time.!!!

I like your curtains too.

do yoga, ride a bike back stage, shoot baskets, fiddle with your hair... What else could you do for Andy's camera???? Sit and pretend like your reading a book??? Yeah.. I'd be bewildered into what to do next for the 30 second filming!!! I mean really not much... just walking around... standing... yeah... I'm with you Ellen. ! :} honestly must you entertain all the time.... NOT!

Love this segment though!

Great idea... but if your bored with it.. then I'm ok with chaulking it to history.

Loved the bongo show. You know I've always liked the bongos... drums. I really liked that show.

Thanks for the laughs Ellen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

T

Ellen, Do you ever give any of your trips away to Canadian fans??!!! I'm typing this VERY frustrated actually as I've been writing and playing your contests since the show bagan and I don't even get so much as a "kiss My A65" reply from anone, not even STAFF!!...What is that? I know you wouldn't make a stupid decision like this on your own, maybe you're not even aware? But I once again have entered your "12 days of giveaway contest" , lets see if I even get acknowledged this time!...Just another HUGE FAN here, don't mind me...Lol...

Ellen
You need to open your eyes and stop being such a granola gobling tree hugger.. And please quite dancing on your show you look like a fool and just embarace all lesbians...

Shame on you for having Paula Deen on your show !She's the voice and face for the Smithfield Corporation...I thought that you cared about people,animals and the environment...I guess you really don't...Shame on you...
WWW.SMITHFIELDJUSTICE.ORG

ELLEN,

SOMETIME ON YOUR SHOW COULD YOU HAVE WOMEN HERO'S LIKE THE FIRST WOMEN POW, OR WOMEN FROM VIETNAM, OR GLUF WAR AREA, OR ANITA HILL, NO DISRESPECT FOR THE MEN VET AND I HONOR THEM VERY MUCH BUT WOMEN ARE STILL ON IN THE BACK SEAT OF LIFE............ THANKS, A FRIEND

Dear Ellen

I want to tell you about a little film I just saw.I don't mean little like small.I just mean not publisized. It was wonderful. You will laugh and cry. ---Lars and the real girl----
Please find the time to watch it and talk about it.
Had to share,it really meant so much to me.
Hope you do watch it. Marion

Hey Ellen! Me and my son watch you every morning when we get a chance to. But you crack me up , me and you have so much in common. But I notice I never seen you do the "POP!LOCK!AND DROP IT!" dance. I would love to see you do that. B/c there are to verse of it. You have the normal way then you have the big girl style. But I would love to see you do that. For ever your biggest fan.


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